There you are, sitting in a bar in the Marais district, glass of wine in hand. The messages have been going back and forth for a few days, the exchange is fluid, promising even. And then... nothing. Absolute silence. This modern ghost called ghosting has just paid you a visit. Frankly, who hasn't experienced this? In sugar dating, where the cards are supposed to be laid down from the outset, this disappearance without warning can leave a particularly bitter taste.
The thing is, this phenomenon spares no one. Whether you're a sugar daddy or a sugar baby, these sudden evaporations are part of the landscape. But don't panic: we're going to break it all down together, with some practical tips for dodging the ghost without turning your love life into a ghost hunt.
Ghosting explained simply
Ghosting is when you cut off all contact from one day to the next. No goodbye message, no «sorry but I'm not feeling the vibe», just a complete void. On social networks, the subject has exploded in recent months. Viral threads on Twitter tell mind-boggling stories, like the one about a Parisian influencer who was ghosted after a date in Cannes, which garnered thousands of reactions. The comments were pouring in: the youngest cried scandal, the thirtysomethings shrugged their shoulders in «welcome to the modern world» mode.
Sugar dating takes on a special dimension. These relationships are normally based on a clear understanding, an open exchange of companionship for support, without the unspoken elements of classic dating. When someone disappears after a few meetings - say, a dinner in a Michelin-starred restaurant in Lyon or a weekend in Biarritz - it can really sting.
In fact, according to a Bumble survey in March 2024, nearly 60% of dating app users have already fallen victim to ghosting. And specialist platforms like Seeking are no exception to the rule. Twenty-somethings on TikTok are making memes to exorcise their frustration, turning this nightmare into viral content. Which just goes to show that this phenomenon goes far beyond traditional dating.
As the blog Sugar Daddy En France (sugardaddyenfrance.fr) explains, this behaviour has become normalised with our hyper-connected way of experiencing relationships. Series like «Plan Cœur» on Netflix have even made ghosting a recurring trope. In fact, a Parisian podcaster garnered thousands of likes in April by listing the «red flags» of the typical ghost. Clearly, this isn't just a passing fad.
Why does this happen so often?
The big question. In sugar dating, ghosting often arises because the stakes are different from classic dating. You've matched with someone who seemed perfect for a casual arrangement, perhaps a getaway by Lake Annecy. But sometimes one of you realises that the connection just isn't there. Or worse: there's a complete misunderstanding of expectations.
The result? Rather than face an uncomfortable conversation, we prefer to evaporate. It's easier, less confronting.
However, perceptions vary according to generation. Those in their forties or fifties, often in the role of sugar daddy, may see it as an elegant way of closing a chapter. After all, in France, we cultivate the art of subtle seduction rather than direct confrontation. But younger people, influenced by figures like Léna Situations who advocates transparency on Instagram, find it downright immature. A survey by the app Fruitz in February 2024 revealed that 45% of French users under 30 have ghosted someone for fear of rejection.
Recent trends show an increase in «slow fade», where messages become progressively rarer. An anonymous viral thread in May 2024 described how, in sugar dating, this often happens after a first trip - such as a stay in Saint-Jean-Cap-Ferrat. It's clear that our age of immediacy (swipe, match, next) is conducive to these disappearances. On Sugar Daddy Planet, several recent testimonials confirm this growing trend in arrangements.
How to avoid it in practice
Let's get down to business: how do you dodge the ghost? First of all, focus on communication from the outset. In sugar dating, where relationships are often formed online before an aperitif in a Bordeaux wine bar, lay the foundations clearly. «What do you want from this?» can defuse a lot of misunderstandings.
And if you feel a chill coming on - delayed responses, shorter messages - don't hesitate to ask directly: «Is everything all right with you? This direct approach is what works best according to the tips for improving conversations in this type of relationship.
Another suggestion: cultivate genuine connections. In France, we love real conversations, not superficial exchanges. Share real moments - a walk through the vineyards of Saint-Émilion, a concert at the Mucem in Marseille. That makes ghosting more difficult, because disappearing from a real human relationship isn't the same as ignoring an anonymous profile.
In fact, a French sugar baby recently recommended regular check-ins on TikTok. Like a weekly call to keep the link alive. It may sound a bit structured, but it works.
Nevertheless, if you're on the side of the potential ghostier, think of the impact. A simple polite message will suffice: «Sorry, I'm not really feeling the connection.» It's more elegant, and more in keeping with our French spirit, don't you think? Some apps like Adopte un Mec now include anti-ghosting features, with reminders to reply. Sugar dating platforms could take a leaf out of their book.
Humour also helps. Laughing about a ghosting failure at a brunch in Aix-en-Provence helps to play it down. Plus, it gives you a good anecdote for your next date.
If it happens
Despite all precautions, ghosting can strike. In that case, don't take it personally. It often says more about the other person than it does about you. Recent posts on French Reddit are full of stories of sugar daters bouncing back by refocusing on themselves. A solo trip to Deauville, with its chic boardwalk and casino, to take your mind off things? Why not?.
The important thing to remember is that sugar dating is all about human connection. As in any relationship based on genuine emotional ties, Communication remains the key. Ghosting is just one misstep in this subtle dance between freedom and connection.
Ultimately, as Sugar Daddy En France (sugardaddyenfrance.fr) points out, these arrangements can really enrich your life when they are based on mutual respect and transparency. Ghosting is the antithesis of this, but with a little vigilance and authenticity, it can be largely circumvented. Cheers - and to ghost-free relationships!
